Finding Comfort in the Space

I’m feeling the space again today. There’s a quiet. A stillness. Sometimes the stillness is awesome. Today the quiet is uncomfortable.

I’m used to having just enough time to get just enough done. I’m not talking about the crazed, panicked, overwhelmed version of barely getting things done – I let that go many years ago. I mean something pretty efficient – filled with some space and some momentum at the same time.

I have more in my life than I did two years ago. It’s taken me a lot of trial and error (or try and try again) to find the way that works for me to balance & blend all that matters to me now. I walked through the fire of transition to get back to the “just enough time to get just enough done” arena.

And then something called me to go for something even better …

I’m getting up earlier again these days. Back to my morning practice. Clarity. It’s nice. And weird. Somehow, without the hustle and bustle of “just enough time to get just enough done” … I don’t quite know what to do with myself. I lose focus. Momentum. Motivation. I’m uncomfortable when I sink down into the space in the middle of the day.

I remember the first time I felt the space beyond the struggle. It was eerie.

This is similar. More uncomfortable than eerie. But the old distractions don’t work. It’s like I can’t even stay focused on or committed to the distractions. I float to something, then feel a desire to go where there’s meaning, impact, leverage, then float to that, then float into the space, feeling my body, then float back up and out of that.

I have this feeling that going toward the unknown feeling, by bringing myself back into my body …again and again … is my right path. I’ve let go of another degree of “how its done” by the rest of the world and I don’t have new habits to take the old one’s place.

So for now I bring myself into the eerie, uncomfortable quiet and wait … sitting in the question and the space until the next step reveals itself.

With passion & love,
Lauri

PS – As we approach the weekend (Memorial Day in the US) … how comfortable are you in the space? What’s the value of staying …

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