Screaming Silence

by Lauri

An oldie and a goodie … this post was originally published in 2015.

Last spring, I led a workshop with Alexis Ryon-Melcher at the Westerbeke Ranch. She said something mid-day that made me cry – expressing something about my work better than I could have myself. It’s the first time I’d been back since completing CTI’s Leadership program three years ago. It was eerie and amazing. Memories of my own tribe-mates and our experiences flooded my mind/body/soul. I loved people and showed them how to love themselves and their voices in the round room. Such a rich and wonderful, multi-faceted day.

And then, I came home. To an empty house.

These thoughts and feelings are trying to fly away before I can feel them or express them … and … something overcame me that night. My challenges sinking in to enjoy successes in life may be, in part, because when I slow down, I’m forced to sit with the personal, human side of things. I was overcome that night by a full-body craving for something MORE. I had a hunger for intimacy and connection and melting into another … surrendering to another.

One of the steps on the Vocal Presence Path is calling out to me – Breathe Life into the Experience. While I created the Vocal Presence Path to help us with our speaking, its been pointed out to me many times that it helps people with voice and “so much more…” This seems to be one of those times.

I love my life, and I want more. I am ready and open to more. I’m aware that sitting in this full-body craving for intimacy on all levels is both awesome and uncomfortable.

It would be so tempting to fill this raw, undeveloped space with “noise.” And yet …

For now, I know, in my Soul and in my bones, that sitting in this full-body hunger is what’s called for now. The next step is to STAY in the Screaming Silence.

– What kinds of silences cause you to want to levitate out of your own skin?
– How do you cover up the silence?
– What’s available to you when you stay?
– How can a learning from your life deepen your ability when speaking?

All my best,
Lauri

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