Relationships are a powerful spiritual teacher.
Money & relationships together … DAMN. It’s almost too much spiritual teaching at one time for one mere human to take.
Things like money & relationships create friction for us. From that friction, we grow.
The friction is nowhere near comfortable.
(And it isn’t supposed to be.)
I’m in the middle of that friction right now … and I am UNNNNNNcomfortable,.
It can really suck when the Universe decides its time for you to grow. Right now I feel a bit like “WTF … when am I gonna get a break from all this friction enough to enjoy the growth I’ve already had?”
I made some huge strides last week. And then, in the middle of all of my empowered choosing faith and trust and all that stuff, my partner’s thoughts on money and my issues with money collided.
First, let me state that he broached a conversation in the most calm, open, respectful way possible. And it still triggered every bit of shit I’ve got around money. Actually, the way I’m feeling, I think it sent me spiraling down deep – all the way into my issues about my worth.
I’m a recovering workhorse. I spent the vast majority of my life martyring myself and working hard. The way that I almost believed I was “enough” was by working EXTRA-HARD to make up for my “not enough-ness”.
I can’t go back to the old workhorse way. I mean right now, I physically cannot do it. I need a blankey. And an episode of This is Us to cry and snot all over myself to (which, if the past few weeks are any indication, I’ll be getting any day now.)
Somehow I’m managing to breathe deep and carry on (my intention for the week.) And let me tell you, in this moment, it is HARD. And it doesn’t feel like “fun” at all. This must be what it’s like when an athlete injures himself and then has to do all that boring training stuff in order to get back into the game…
With passion & love,
PS – In the midst of all of this, I’m walking my own talk (by walking the Vocal Presence Path) – standing in my power and speaking my truth. It’s not easy – and it’s worth it.
If you want some help doing the same in the conversations that matter most to you, sign up for a Breathe Deep & Breakthrough Session. I can help.