(Where Thinking and Feeling Meet)

Nearly two decades ago, a client of mine coined a phrase that has stuck with me ever since.

Flinking.

It was their way of describing what happens when thinking and feeling come together.

Flinking = Feeling + Thinking

It points to something most leaders miss.

Myth: Great Talks Transfer Ideas

According to TED curator Chris Anderson, great talks transfer an idea into the listener’s mind.

That’s a useful starting point. But in my experience, it’s not the whole story.

To be great, something even deeper is required.

Great talks don’t stop in the mind.

They move through the heart. And ultimately, they land in the body.

You can feel the difference.

Something shifts in the room.

People don’t just understand the idea.

They feel it.
They experience it.
They begin to imagine themselves acting on it.

That’s why great speaking lives at the intersection of thinking and feeling.

That’s the space of flinking.

When thinking and feeling meet, the message moves beyond information.

It becomes transformation.

It becomes leadership

Why Most Talks Only Reach the Mind

Most speakers design their talks from the neck up.

We plan the information.
The bullet points.
The key takeaways.

Why?

Because the mind feels safe.

It’s controlled. Logical. Predictable.

But when we only speak to the mind, something essential is missing.

Connection.
Transformation.
Movement.

Designing a Talk for Both Mind and Heart

When creating a talk, I encourage speakers to design along two tracks.

Track One: The Mind

Ask yourself:
What do I want my audience to know or be capable of by the time I’m finished?

Then simplify.

Break the message down into three core ideas.

Clarity helps the mind engage (and remember).

Track Two: The Heart

Then ask a different question.

How do I want my audience to feel by the time I’m done?

You might even go deeper:

• What might they be feeling before the talk begins?
• What emotional journey do I want to guide them through?
• How do I want them to feel when they leave?

This matters because your audience will have an emotional experience whether you design it or not.

If you don’t guide it, their attention may drift toward stress, distraction, or the pressure of their to-do list.

But when you consciously invite an emotional journey, something powerful happens.

They join you.

The North Star of Feeling

Knowing how you want your audience to feel becomes a kind of north star.

It guides:

• the stories you choose
• the energy you bring
• the presence you embody

It also helps you feel safe enough to open your own heart while speaking.

And that’s where real presence begins.

Where Presence Lives

Presence emerges when two forces meet:

Purpose
(the clarity of the mind)

and

Primal energy
(the sensations, emotions, and aliveness of the body)

In other words, presence begins when primal and purpose meet. 

When these two streams come together, something shifts.

The speaker stops performing and starts connecting
The room starts to breathe together.
Ideas move through both mind and heart.

That’s the magic of flinking.

When you speak, remember:

Think.
Feel.
And invite your audience to do both.

With love & passion,
Lauri