Decades ago, I was auditioning for a role in Five Women Wearing the Same Dress at City Lights Theatre in San Jose. 

Five great female roles.
Three in my age range.
And I was going for it.

I read one scene after another after another, convinced that all that reading meant I was crushing it.

Then the director, Lisa Mallette, asked to speak with me alone.

I’ll never forget what she said:

“Lauri, intellectually you’re running circles around everyone here.”

My inner overachiever lit up.
WooHoo. Maybe she’s about to offer me a role right here on the spot.

Then she continued:

“But if I’m going to work with you, I need to see your heart.”

It wasn’t the first time someone had reflected this back to me.

My favorite acting instructor, Richard Seyd, said “You lead with your intellect.”
A boss I adored said, “You keep your feelings close to the vest.”
And a close friend delivered the most vivid one:

“You’re like an egg. A thin hard shell on the outside, and complete mush underneath. Tap it just right and the floodgates open.”

I’d spent my life feeling like I was supposed to keep things close to the vest. 

Because letting people see my heart didn’t feel like a “mindset issue.” I wasn’t consciously thinking, I shouldn’t be vulnerable.

It was more primal than that.

A visceral sense of danger.

Like if I let the feelings out, I might explode…
or worse—blow everyone else to smithereens.

Can you relate?

Maybe you’re the capable one.
The clear one.
The composed one.

You can deliver results, hold it together, say the right thing.

But when it comes to letting people feel you—
when it comes to being seen—
something in you braces.

Not because you don’t care.

Because you care so much it feels risky.

That day at City Lights, Lisa gave me a gift that continues to pay off to this day. 

She gave me the chance to lead with my heart instead of my mind. 

And I took it. 

I let my heart come out to play.
I let her see me.

And guess what?

I didn’t explode.
Nobody around me exploded either.

What happened was something far more surprising:

It felt amazing.

Like I’d stopped gripping the wheel so hard.
Like I’d come back to myself.
Like my voice finally had room to breathe.

So many of us hide our hearts because we think it will make us unstable.

But the hiding is what keeps us rigid.

The hiding is what keeps our presence thin.

The hiding is what keeps our leadership “correct”… and forgettable.

Because real connection doesn’t happen through polish.

It happens through presence.

And presence requires heart.

So what does it take to move through that visceral feeling of danger that lives in the body?

Well, a little courage helps. 

But in my experience, something else helps even more:

A safe, steady space where you can practice letting your heart be seen—inch by inch—without being rushed, judged, or fixed.

That kind of space is sacred. 

And it’s strong.

Because when you stop hiding your heart, you don’t become messy.

You become magnetic.

You become clear.

You become someone people trust—because they can feel you.

If you’re ready to step out of the shadows without imploding or exploding, schedule a no-strings-attached Breakthrough Session. It would be my honor to hold space for you.

With love & passion,
Lauri