The Power of Comfortable Discomfort

by Lauri

My first coach, Susan Carlisle, used to say, “Darlin’, I’m not the least bit interested in your comfort!”

15 years later, I agree with her. As a coach, I’m not interested in the kind of comfort that keeps people where they are …

I’m interested in the comfortable discomfort of growth.

I create a comfortable, sacred space for clients to experience the sensation of transformation.

Have you ever heard of the Learning Matrix? (aka the Conscious Competence Ladder) It was first developed by Noel Burch, an employee with Gordon Training International, in the 1970s and it goes something like this …

Step 1: “Ignorance is Bliss”

We don’t know what we know, what we don’t know, what we need to learn, or how to improve.

Step 2: “I don’t get it!”

We know just enough to know that we don’t really know. We can feel when we’re not “doing it right.”

Step 3: “I can do it if I think about it.”

When we focus on the new learning, we can do it.

Step 4: “It’s second nature.”

We’ve integrated the new learning and it’s now our new habit. We no longer have to think about it.

In my experience with thousands of students and clients, most of the transformative learning process is spent between steps 2 and 3 – and nothing about that is comfortable!

Don’t get me wrong, the way we as coaches hold space for, empathize with, and “be with” our clients as they process their emotions is powerful. While some describe that space-holding as comforting, it’s also transformative. Creating safe and sacred space through coaching is very different than handing someone a tissue or patting them on the shoulder. Creating sacred space involves holding the space for and being with everything that comes up – including all of the emotions that society calls “negative.”

When we as coaches do this for people, they begin to trust that, deep down, they are enough and that they can handle anything. Once we’ve experienced this space with a teacher or coach, we’re then more able to step into the feeling of comfortable discomfort. From there, we can create powerful transformation, wherever we feel the intuitive nudge, in our lives.

Comment on this post if you’ve experienced the comfortable discomfort of transformation. I’d love to hear about it.

All my best,

Lauri

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