Force is Rarely the Answer

by Lauri

My boyfriend often says, “Force is rarely the answer.” When he’s gently reminding me, I’m usually dealing with an inanimate object: trying to open a cabinet, a container, or the front door with a key that’s JUST a little OFF. 

FORCE is also RARELY THE ANSWER when it comes to our LIVES. 

For the past few weeks, things have been tumultuous once again. 

One moment the sun was shining, there was a breeze blowing in the window, and I got the news that a medical issue was all good. The next moment the smell of smoke blew in the window carrying heaps of ash, I popped a dental crown loose, and my focus went to SHIT. 

I even posted on Facebook: One minute I’m like a productive, inspired, creative magician. The next I feel like I’m slogging through mud. Who can relate?

Disruption seems to be the norm these days!

Sometimes I’m uncomfortable in my own skin. I have a ton of energy, but I don’t seem to know what to do with myself. 

Ordinarily I would probably go for a walk during these high energy moments. 

Can’t do that when the air is full of ash … 

I’m thinking, thinking, thinking … All that thinking is full of those nasty shoulds: “You should write a blog.” “You should network.” “You should create a new program.” 

I am like a dry desert. There is no inspiration in those shoulds. I’m barely able to resist their seductive pull into the land of FORCE when … 

I get the bills for that medical issue and the dental crown repair. The Medical bill alone was over 10 times what I’d been quoted! 

In the midst of that, I’m nearly OVERCOME with the URGE to DO SOMETHING NOW. I feel a hot, fiery rage at Kaiser and our flawed medical system. I want to call and yell at them all. I want to FORCE someone to do SOMETHING MY WAY (which, incidentally, is the right way). 

Deep down, beneath all that anger and fear, there’s another quiet, grounded voice reminding me … “Force is rarely the answer.” 

I surrender, knowing it’s not the right time to act. 

Instead, I dive deep into what I love: I lead a class.

While riding the high from the class, I then call Kaiser. In this state of flow not force, I’m greeted by one of the most compassionate, helpful phone reps I’ve ever spoken to. She gives me hope. And now, I wait for the next step to reveal itself. And then the next. And then the next. 

I never finished the blog – (until now). I figured it would be a “dark” week. 

Then I woke up on Sunday morning to discover that my brand new website was GONE. Yup. GONE. Long story short, GoDaddy did an internal file migration (something internally for ALL customers) and lost MY site in the process. Fortunately they’ve rectified their mistake and all is well. Everything was restored back to last Tuesday, and we only lost one small thing.

Imagine how I would feel if I’d forced myself to come up with a new blog on Friday only to have to recreate it now? 

Where in your life are you trying to force things?
What would it be like to have surrender and flow there instead?

With passion & love, 


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