Is your body stuck on Commodore 64?

by Lauri

Do you ever feel like you’re running on an old operating system? 

Like your brain is stuck on Windows 95 but your consciousness is Windows 11.

Or you’re trying to run MAC OS Sonoma on an old Commodore 64 body.  

I feel your pain, cuz, you know, been there, done that!

My theme for 2023 was Alchemy. 

I thought that meant that I’d be sitting on a pile of gold by January 5th

That’s not at all how it went … 

By March 1st I’d postponed my then favorite “signature” program – twice!. 

By the middle of April I was running that beloved program with three people for the final time. 

Just as what I had already created was failing, the Universe was calling me to up-level! 

At the time, expanding things felt insane. 

I now know that the Universe was asking me to upgrade because my old OS was becoming obsolete. 

And then, my literal laptop went berserk! 

I was neck-deep in the fiery part of Alchemy. 

When my new laptop arrived, I decided for the first time in over a decade not to clone the entire system.

It was time to purge the old and set up everything – from the operating system to the individual files – brand new. 

A hard reset (aka a fresh start)– for my laptop and for me!

Throughout my life up until that point, I’d had waves of success followed by waves of struggle. 

It struck me during my computer-self upgrade that the waves of success came during periods where I was visiting the me that I am now. 

Like the Commodore 64 me was successfully running MAC OS Sonoma for a second, and then regressing. 

As that backdated self, I was pushing, forcing, and struggling my way through life after each wave of success. 

I’d been choosing fear in the silence. 

But now, in the midst of the fire, as I upgraded my laptop and myself, I was sitting in the silence and enjoying it. 

Trusting it. 

Choosing to trust it. 

That had never been clear to me before. 

I’d always been looking to something else. Something to blame. 

It’s the way of being that’s been different. 

It struck me that when the part of me that wants to be seen comes up, I can SEE her in the silence, instead of letting her run off into the old patterns.

So if you find yourself feeling like a Commodore 64 that ran MAC OS Sonoma successfully for a moment before regressing. Going berserk. Failing … 

Trust the silence. 

Our inner whispers are there in the stillness. In the space between, the parts of ourselves who want to be seen step out from the shadows and into the light.

Instead of running back into the old patterns, looking to something else, let’s upgrade our operating system – 

Let go of the thing that’s not working. Trust yourself in the quiet. That’s when we transform. 

Springtime is on the horizon, calling us forth … 

What are you letting go of in these final moments of Winter so you can fully bloom?


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