We’ve been taught the wrong standard for leadership.

Clear. Composed. Confident. Controlling. Certain.

But what if you didn’t need to have it figured out yet?

What if not knowing wasn’t a liability, but the very thing that makes leadership real?

Consider this your permission to be messy.

In a recent Soulful Speaking conversation with Bridget Baker and Brian Perry, one theme kept surfacing again and again:

What leaders need right now isn’t a better script.

It’s permission.

Permission to be messy. Permission to not know. Permission to respond instead of perform.

That’s punk wisdom.

Leadership Isn’t Control. It’s Stewardship.

Real leadership isn’t about collecting followers or looking impressive from the front of the room.

It’s about lifting others into their own leadership.

It’s stewardship. It’s service. It’s paying attention to what’s actually happening— not what you planned to happen.

When leaders cling too tightly to the outline, the slides, the strategy, or the persona…

people fall out of the back of the raft.

You can’t lead a room you’re not listening to.

“Follow the Room” Isn’t Squishy. It’s Skilled.

Following the room doesn’t mean winging it or showing up unprepared.

It means:

• Watching faces
• Noticing body language
• Feeling energy shifts
• Recognizing confusion, resistance, or disengagement
• Being willing to pause when something changes

This kind of leadership takes more presence, not less.

It requires preparation and courage— the courage to throw the plan away when life asks for something else.

Untaming Starts by Naming the Taming

Here’s the uncomfortable truth:

You can’t untame what you haven’t named.

Many of us perfected boxes that were never built for us.

We were rewarded inside them. Praised inside them. Validated inside them.

And still… we felt the quiet suffocation.

Untaming doesn’t mean leaping straight into wild freedom.

It often begins in a liminal, awkward space:

“I know I can’t do it the old way… but I don’t know what comes next.”

That white space isn’t failure.

It’s the birthplace of truth.

Punk Wisdom for Leaders

Punk wisdom says:

• Break the rules that were never made for you
• Overprepare so you can throw it away
• Let not-knowing lead you somewhere honest
• Give yourself permission before you demand certainty

The most powerful thing a leader can offer isn’t answers.

It’s permission.

Permission to pause. Permission to be human. Permission to evolve in public.

Because when leaders model that kind of courage, others feel it in their bodies—and rise.

🎧 Permission to Be Messy: Punk Wisdom for Leaders is now live on the Soulful Speaking Podcast.

And if this stirred something?

That stirring is gold.

Follow it.