Who do you want me to be?

How do I need to play this role for you to cast me?

What do I need to say for you to accept me?

I spent a lot of my young life allowing questions like that to drive me. 

I’m highly adaptable, but that’s not really a good way to channel that adaptability.

In my thirties, I once felt a “hard no” in my gut during an audition in response to the vibe coming from the director. 

At that point in my life I didn’t always trust my gut, especially with a chance to act on the line. So I continued auditioning for him, despite that “hard no.”

Fortunately a wise voice in my head whispered, “I’m gonna do this how I think it should be done. And if that doesn’t work, then, phew, I won’t have to work with this guy!”

The bad feeling in my gut took form when he mansplained for the entire what felt like decades-long audition. 

My inner teenager thought, “Dude, I’m 35 years old. I teach what you’re now mansplaining to me.”

I also flashed on my favorite acting instructor, Richard Seyd, and thought, “Dude, you have nowhere near the level of talent that Richard does, and I’ve worked with him, and he knows way more than you, and he does not talk to people the way you’re talking to me right now!”

“I’m just going to do it my way and be totally liberated and walk out and probably not take the part, even if you cast me. But I think you’re feeling my rebelliousness and I don’t think you’ll be calling me.”

He did not call me. 

And I was right! It was one of the most liberating experiences of my life up to that point.   

I’d freed myself from the Imposter Monster Soul Suckers. 

They tell us that we are not enough for some specific reason. We’re not enough because we’re not as

smart
important
accomplished
thin
young
old
or
or
or 

as everyone else. 

When we put the Imposter Monster Soul Suckers in charge, we unconsciously become like marionettes, letting what we think others might want control us.

Acting is like speaking and auditioning is like a job interview. 

During a job interview, we tend to give away our power, forgetting that we’re interviewing them just as much as they’re interviewing us. 

In that moment, I chose to release the Imposter Monsters from the responsibility of being in charge and instead, express my values. 

And it felt amazing. 

Imagine what might be possible for you when you stop listening to the Imposter Monsters, take back your power, and do it your way …

Take the quiz now and find out which Soul Sucker’s marionette strings you need to snip to free your voice. 

With passion & love,
Lauri